Jen Aly, Money Coach for Creatives

A brand of Happily Ever Now, Inc.

The best advice for new business owners

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The best advice for business owners may not be what you think.

A holistic practitioner starting a new practice asked for advice recently.

The first thing that came to mind was this: Learn business skills and get business support from someone you trust. This could be from the endless resources available, from a course, or a mentor or coach.

Most of the time, new business owners focus on the product or service they are offering, which makes sense.

In business, understanding who wants what you offer, how they’ll find it, & how to convey the value are as important as what you are offering.

Developing your business is about 50% of your holistic practice. And there’s rarely sufficient business training including when you are learning your trade.

It’s not uncommon to resist marketing and sales if you are a holistic or creative business owner. And there are ways to leverage your strengths and gifts to apply effective, aligned, and authentic marketing strategies that generate sales.

best business advice

The financial, marketing, and sales aspects are what nurture it to grow and thrive so so you can take care of yourself, you can support more people, and make a good living ongoing. No matter how good you are at your craft, if you don’t have clients and grow it as a business, you won’t get very far.

A lot of holistic practitioners don’t see the business part as spiritual or worthwhile. And it’s one way to sabotage your business and growth.

Approaching business as a spiritual practice categorizes it as a growth process instead of a boring subject you avoided in college. This is what helped me embrace business more fully.

It’s also true in my experience of growing 7 businesses over the past 17 years and supporting others to do the same.

Growth is optional.

But if you want to create a vision and grow a business, then growth is not optional.

It takes courage to step into unfamiliar areas and subjects. And as a dynamic being with the innate capacity to grow and transform, you were made for opportunities just like this. But it’s not easy to do it alone.

Courage dear heart. C.S. Lewis quote

After you dive into learning about business, remember to take everything you hear with a grain of salt.

Not all advice is helpful:

What may seem like the best advice for business owners may be counter to what you need because it’s not individualized and your business is unique.

Always follow your gut about what’s right for you.

Get advice from someone you trust who has business experience and who understands your vision, your strengths, and your resistance/challenges.

Recently a client came to me and said that someone had advised her to create an ebook.

The thing is, without understanding your vision, goals, and creating an aligned strategy leading to your vision, any advice could very well take you off of your path instead of further along. It’s easier than you think to end up somewhere you never intended.

This is true in her case. Whipping out an ebook as advised would have distracted her from creating a long term, sustainable marketing strategy that is aligned with her vision, her strengths, and her target market. 

Take a deep breath and dive into unfamiliar territory with resources and support that resonate with you.

The best advice for one business owner is not always the best advice for you. Be sure the advice you receive or the ideas you’re considering are aligned with YOUR vision and goals before you act on them.

And remember that marketing is always an experiment and learning process. If something doesn’t work one way, tweak it to see if it works a different way. Keep putting it out there!

In case you need it, here’s an article that describes how to effectively hire a business coach.

If you don’t have the money to hire a coach yet, start here for free business counseling support.

For more fresh perspectives on business, watch my TEDx talk.

Doing a TEDx Talk: The Truth About My Experience

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Doing a TEDx talk took way more than I could have imagined. When I first applied, I had no idea what I was in for.

I didn’t know there would be so much to learn about what to do and what not to do during a TED talk.  And so much to learn about myself, my message, and the creative process.

tedx talk ted talk Photo by Erica Mueller Photography.

It was just over a year ago that I stood up on a big red dot on a stage in front of 500 people and gave a TEDx talk in Asheville, North Carolina. It was the first year Asheville could have an audience of 500 instead of just 100.

I had worked tirelessly for months applying, interviewing, preparing, writing, and researching. The process also included lots of rewriting, editing, freaking out, getting and giving support, practicing, resisting, and planning more details than I ever expected. I even had a custom shirt made for my stage time.

But, it didn’t go as planned. Usually, I would get a burst of exhilaration and energy from connecting with an audience. Instead, as soon as I looked out from the stage, I felt like a deer in headlights and could barely breathe.

All I saw was black in front of me due to the stage lights shining on me and the completely dark lights in the audience.

This was the closest I’ve ever come to a panic attack in public. I did my best to hide it because of the 500 people, a live stream running, and 3 other cameras filming me for TED.

Even though I didn’t normally have a fear of public speaking, the pressure of it being a TED talk and having to remember 17 minutes of my talk was a lot. Then, looking into the darkness with no connection to the audience and months of stress pushed me further than my capacity could handle.

I don’t know how I made it through that talk because my brain didn’t seem to be getting enough oxygen. One miracle was that I had someone off stage queuing my lines to me. I didn’t know that was an option until I asked not long before the talk. (I doubt this is always the case.)

But because I had never practiced with support, waiting for my lines contributed to my stress level. At times I couldn’t hear her because the audience was laughing. I also knew she was skipping some content that I felt attached to. But I kept talking somehow.

After I finished giving my talk, I thought it had been a disgrace. The critical voices in my head were screaming nasty judgments at me. From my panicked perspective, there had been long, eternal, gaping pauses.

I had forgotten a bunch of ideas that I had planned to say, and I couldn’t catch my breath more than once. To imagine that it was coherent at all felt delusional.

Luckily, my speaker coach assured me it wasn’t as bad as I thought. But those who know me could see it. In the theater lobby afterward, a stranger even said, “You did a good job of pulling it together there.” She saw my stress too.

tedx talk jen aly creative process business doing a ted talk

Later when I watched the video, there were a few times, especially one that was edited out, where you could see I was having a hard time catching my breath.

And yet miraculously, somehow the ideas and points I wanted to make came through. The only explanation for it coming together is grace….and the support of a great team of colleagues and friends.

The video you see on TED.com was edited from a 3 camera shoot. Luckily I had a say in the edits (not always the case apparently).

Later in the year, I found out that my talk was among the 10% of TEDx talks chosen to be on TED.com(instead of just TED’s YouTube channel). My mind was blown. The process felt more worth it because more people would see it and I felt a level of satisfaction.

The talk, “Harness Creativity as your Greatest Business Asset” is all about being in the creative process and trusting it no matter what you are creating. Even though it’s simple, it’s not always easy to see it through whether it’s a painting, a project, or a business venture.

Getting through the creative process of applying for, preparing, and completing a TEDx talk was one of the most intense creative processes of my life.

In the talk, I share that harnessing the creative process is an asset in creating a business. It is focused on growth instead of a more traditional or linear idea of building a business. 

As more of a holistic and creative-minded person, I had tried to ignore aspects of business in the earlier years before filing bankruptcy. Later, I re-framed and embraced business concepts that I had previously resisted to create new businesses that thrive.

components of business tedx talk creative processPhoto by Erica Mueller Photography.

Creating my TEDx talk was a major creative process for me. It had a life of its own and morphed more times than I can remember. My living room was TEDx talk central for the last two months of the process with a rigged-up practice space with piles of papers and Post-Its.

When you speak out against the grain, old emotional gunk rises to the surface. When you stretch and grow, old stuff you didn’t even know you had in you comes up. Needless to say, I cleared a lot of emotional energy through the process.

And I became stronger through it all. I was able to more fully embody the lessons I was teaching in my TED talk and to trust my voice because no one could really edit my talk except me. I eventually sought less external validation because I survived through a public speaking nightmare.

Even though it wasn’t perfect, I’ve received feedback that the talk has had a positive impact. It has helped people honor their creativity, heal from challenges they experienced in the education system, and inspired them to face their fear of not getting it “right.”

As one of my mentors used to say, “Done is better than perfect.”

What are you afraid of not getting right?

What are you wanting to do but you’re waiting until the conditions are perfect?

How can you show up in your messiness?

TED.com TEDx Talk Jen Aly

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Podcast interview on self-worth, prosperity, and creativity

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Episode 38_ Jen Aly.png

Self worth is the foundation of creating freedom and prosperity in life. But how do we access it and heal what’s covering it up? Remembering and reclaiming our worth is a process an a practice.

This is the most vulnerable interview I’ve ever done. The next morning I felt my biggest “vulnerability hangover” yet.

Sarah Poet interviewed me for her Sacred Remembering podcast. I talk about topics I usually don’t discuss publicly and share deep insights I’m experiencing during my Corona cocoon.
From Sarah’s website:

In this potent and timely interview with money & creativity coach Jen Aly, we traverse the micro and macro of self worth, women, covid-19, rest, listening to the body, creativity, and more. This interview is FULL of wisdom for our turn out of patriarchy and into a balance of feminine & masculine wisdom. I haven’t heard another conversation that puts these topics together in this way. Tune in!

THEMES:

Self worth, money, Covid, hustle, addiction to productivity, stretch your receiving muscle, sacred pause, women & wealth, masculine feminine balance, creation energy, receptivity, allowing, self love, affirmations, patriarchal trauma, inter-generational trauma, looking to men for self worth, masculine projection, good girl, money coach, self worth doesn’t come from accumulation

Supportive links from interview: My TED talk, Sarah’s TEDx talk, Patriarchy Stress Disorder book

My favorite tool for balance, vitality, and sanity

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A miracle has occurred. For the past few months, I have been practicing chi/qi gong (translates as “energy work”) a few times a week and it has absolutely been keeping me sane. I’ve been “trying” to create a regular movement practice for what seems like forever.

I find that the combination of breath work, movement, and energy work is just what I need to feel calm, focus, and be creative. It may be the first form of exercise I’ve ever done that I crave after just going 2 days without it.

You can find tons of qi gong videos on YouTube to try out. (Here are a few.) And I wanted to share that my main teacher, Steven Washington, is offering a course this month that I’m taking. I would love to have you join me. Here’s more about “5 Days to Peace” and his work.

Let me know if you try it and/or if you have/find any great qi gong videos/teachers to share.

Warmly,

A Fresh Prosperity Practice and Stress Management Tool for Corona Times

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There’s so much going down in the world right now that I can’t keep up.

And, I’m here to offer what I can. Here is a prosperity practice to support stress management.

One of the biggest stressors right now is uncertainty. And with each day, uncertainty seems to be the most consistent thing…with misinformation, contrasting information, and a barrage of intense major developments that influence each of us on some level.

My experience has varied greatly from moment to moment with the days both dragging on and flying by. I’ve been alone most of the time and have had some very deep and dark moments of clearing and ultimately transformation.

Money, income, and business have been among the topics of conversation for many people. These plus health and safety issues hit some deep places in the human psyche, and bring up stuff for many of us. We are living through a significant cultural, spiritual, collective, and personal shift and even a rebirth.

For me, I hit a whole new level of being in touch with the voices in my mind….and ultimately connecting with my heart.

Frankly, the voices can be assholes and there was not enough of the usual distractions to keep me from hearing them.

One night during full “lockdown” I watched a bunch of tv. I was walking into my bedroom afterwards & I realized I felt crappy. When I inquired what about the feeling, I saw that I had been judging myself for watching so much tv. What the heck? Who cares how much tv I watch during a global pandemic?

I gave myself permission to watch tv. To do nothing. To stare out the window. To sit on the earth for as long as I want. To paint crappily. To thrash dance in my living room to obnoxious music to get my feelings out. To eat more potato chips than usual (even non-organic!) To not shower for three days. Yup. I admitted it. Three. Days.

Suddenly, I didn’t feel so stressed out. I was present with myself, giving myself space instead of having a heavy hand on my shoulder, a critical eye constantly judging me. I’m not used to slowing down. I’m used to being busy all of the time. And that pace had its consequences that my body is still recovering from. This period is an opportunity for me to reboot my nervous system, slow down, connect with myself, heal, and to come more from my heart than I ever have.

We all are having different experiences right now. I wonder how many of you are learning big lessons, deepening your connection with yourself, evaluating your values, and evolving your vision for your life.

Sometimes questions help us see what our desires are, what we value. On my “intake” form for new clients, I ask 5 pages of questions and one question, “What would you do if money wasn’t an issue?” is so interesting and revealing. Often times people say they would relax more, read more, do more self-care, and (of course the popular) travel more. Let’s take out the travel option since it’s not an option right now.

If you say you want more free time but you believe you have to wait until some future point when you’re rich to take a break, think again.

Wait for it……free time is FREE.

I get that if you work to make a living, if you take care of others, if you’re dealing with a global pandemic, you have many hours of stuff to do per day.

And you can still give it to yourself. For real.

How much of that “busy” time is spent doing busy work or spinning your wheels anyway? Or doing the things the pressure to “do more” is telling you to do? What’s more important than feeling free? (even in quarantine)

If you don’t stop, rest, play, and give yourself enough space to get into a variety of brain wave states to allow your intuition and some nourishment to come in, you will not feel prosperous….ever. In my early coaching years, I had an entrepreneurial client who was so rich he was trying to decide between buying a private jet and a professional sports team. He was one of the most unhappy people I’ve ever met. It’s never about the money.

You don’t have to wait.
You don’t have to arrive anywhere.
You can do this now.

This is stretching your receiving muscle and your prosperity muscle.

A lot of times, as entrepreneurs, we have so much pressure in our minds to work more and do more. We don’t actually have/take real free time completely because we’re always putting pressure on ourselves. The voice in the back of our minds is saying “You’re not doing enough” or “You should be doing something more important” or some other version of “not enough.”

When those voices are still present or a part of you is judging what you are doing (or not doing), or you think you are actually procrastinating, you are not able to enjoy and be present, to fully choose what you are doing. This takes away from the present moment and we never get a break, much less feel rested.

I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this. But that thing you’re chasing out there in the future by being super busy…..that’s not where prosperity lives. Trust me, a part of me chased it for a long time. And even when you get the carrot, it doesn’t live up to the expectation you had hoped for.

Prosperity is not in a dollar amount. Not getting somewhere you’re not. Not in doing the perfect thing perfectly all the time. It’s simply a practice of being. It’s only found in the present moment.

So, to practice, give yourself a pass for two hours of “Abundant Free Time.” Practice expanding and strengthening your prosperity muscle to RECEIVE by doing this prosperity practice. Do whatever the heck you want for that two hours and see how you feel. You can even schedule it weekly as a powerful prosperity practice and stress management tool.

For me, as soon as I step in to my “Abundant Free Time” I feel a sense of excitement, curiosity, and relief. I feel less anxiety, stress, and overwhelm.

I may do deep breathing, put on music, draw, paint, dance, stare out the window, sit in a random place on the floor just to see what I notice, pick up a book (or 3 and just peruse), reorganize an area, or tend my many plants. Lately during this kind of time, I commit to staying off of social media. I don’t do anything unless I want to (but I let myself write down anything that I want to remember to do later so I can mentally let it go.)

FULLY give yourself 2 hours of “Abundant Free Time” and see what happens. Receive from yourself as a prosperity practice and see how it feels.

LMK how it goes.