Jen Aly, Money Coach for Creatives

A brand of Happily Ever Now, Inc.

The best advice for new business owners

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The best advice for business owners may not be what you think.

A holistic practitioner starting a new practice asked for advice recently.

The first thing that came to mind was this: Learn business skills and get business support from someone you trust. This could be from the endless resources available, from a course, or a mentor or coach.

Most of the time, new business owners focus on the product or service they are offering, which makes sense.

In business, understanding who wants what you offer, how they’ll find it, & how to convey the value are as important as what you are offering.

Developing your business is about 50% of your holistic practice. And there’s rarely sufficient business training including when you are learning your trade.

It’s not uncommon to resist marketing and sales if you are a holistic or creative business owner. And there are ways to leverage your strengths and gifts to apply effective, aligned, and authentic marketing strategies that generate sales.

best business advice

The financial, marketing, and sales aspects are what nurture it to grow and thrive so so you can take care of yourself, you can support more people, and make a good living ongoing. No matter how good you are at your craft, if you don’t have clients and grow it as a business, you won’t get very far.

A lot of holistic practitioners don’t see the business part as spiritual or worthwhile. And it’s one way to sabotage your business and growth.

Approaching business as a spiritual practice categorizes it as a growth process instead of a boring subject you avoided in college. This is what helped me embrace business more fully.

It’s also true in my experience of growing 7 businesses over the past 17 years and supporting others to do the same.

Growth is optional.

But if you want to create a vision and grow a business, then growth is not optional.

It takes courage to step into unfamiliar areas and subjects. And as a dynamic being with the innate capacity to grow and transform, you were made for opportunities just like this. But it’s not easy to do it alone.

Courage dear heart. C.S. Lewis quote

After you dive into learning about business, remember to take everything you hear with a grain of salt.

Not all advice is helpful:

What may seem like the best advice for business owners may be counter to what you need because it’s not individualized and your business is unique.

Always follow your gut about what’s right for you.

Get advice from someone you trust who has business experience and who understands your vision, your strengths, and your resistance/challenges.

Recently a client came to me and said that someone had advised her to create an ebook.

The thing is, without understanding your vision, goals, and creating an aligned strategy leading to your vision, any advice could very well take you off of your path instead of further along. It’s easier than you think to end up somewhere you never intended.

This is true in her case. Whipping out an ebook as advised would have distracted her from creating a long term, sustainable marketing strategy that is aligned with her vision, her strengths, and her target market. 

Take a deep breath and dive into unfamiliar territory with resources and support that resonate with you.

The best advice for one business owner is not always the best advice for you. Be sure the advice you receive or the ideas you’re considering are aligned with YOUR vision and goals before you act on them.

And remember that marketing is always an experiment and learning process. If something doesn’t work one way, tweak it to see if it works a different way. Keep putting it out there!

In case you need it, here’s an article that describes how to effectively hire a business coach.

If you don’t have the money to hire a coach yet, start here for free business counseling support.

For more fresh perspectives on business, watch my TEDx talk.

Got money issues or is it really something else?

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Money issues run deep. They are so multifaceted and multilayered.
The thing is, money issues are not always about money.
self-esteem money coach business coach prosperity
Money issues and financial stress are rampant, and part of that is because money is still the most taboo subject in our culture.
Have you ever noticed that people will talk about sex much quicker than money?
Those of us who have had a challenging relationship with money are not alone.  Basic financial literacy is rarely taught in schools.

Here are some financial stats on how rampant money issues are:

  • According to studies by the American Psychological Association, money issues have topped the charts as the most common stressor among Americans. 72% of Americans say they have felt money-related stress.*
  • Did you know that with the average interest rate for credit cards of 17%, it only takes around 4 years for the amount to double?
  • 44% of Americans do not have enough cash for a $400 emergency.**
  • 33% of American adults have zero retirement savings.**
  • The average American lacks the basic financial knowledge he or she needs to change behaviors and make qualified financial decisions.***
  • Around 50% of businesses make it to the 5-year mark and only 33% are in business for 10 years.****

When you’re making money as an entrepreneur, it’s a different kind of game than if you have a job. There’s no limit to what you can make, and yet it’s all up to you.
Even if you’re making a decent living and you’ve had business training, money mindset may be the missing link for you to go to the next level in your business.
It’s normal to grow for a while and then hit a plateau or ceiling. Things stop flowing as much.
Emotional and mental blocks start showing up and even patterns that you didn’t know you had.
If you want to get to the next level, you must own your worth at a whole new level.
wealth money prosperity hard work
You have to grow your relationship and confidence with money.
It’s not about what you do. It’s about the energy you do it with. Where are you coming from?
If you come from fear or scarcity, then you get more of that.
If you come from prosperity and confidence, then you create more of that.

Money issues are about self-worth.

The truth is, you have to do the work if you really want to get somewhere.
The importance of self-worth has inspired me to create a new version of my money boot camp program. I’ve included some practices, new worksheets, and content that support you to own and live your value. And I’ve added priceless resources.

Are you ready to feel confident in your capacity to own your value and make more money?

If so, check out this powerful program to see if it is right for you: “Money Mastery Intensive Program.”

You’ll get double the content from previous versions of my money program, but the price is the same…or register early at an unbelievable price!
If you are ready to transform your relationship with money, check it out.
If you want to get started on transforming your money issues now, get the Money Makeover Tool Kit or if you already have it, check out this list of amazing books.
Sources:

Why Business Coaching Gets a Bad Rap & How to Hire One

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An effective business coach works toward your vision, not their own agenda

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

A colleague called me recently feeling deflated after she had received one of those free business coaching sessions where the coach tries to sell you on working with them.

My friend shared with the coach where she was at in her successful practice, impacting many clients, creating new programs, and making six figures, with a goal to double her income.

In response, the coach said, “If that’s where you’re at and that’s your goal, ‘You are playing grossly small.’”

Where the heck did this scale of measurement come from?

This judgment, projection, and criticism are exactly why coaching gets a bad rap. Because the coaching industry has become more about the coaches than the clients.

As soon as coaching becomes about whatever the business coach projects on the client, instead of the clients’ goals and hearts desires, you are in a pool of ego, identity, imbalanced masculine drive, projection, scarcity, and power struggle.

There is a time to call people out for “playing small.” This is when they have a clear desire they are not owning up to, they are limiting their potential in THEIR vision, and there are mental or emotional blocks keeping them from moving forward.

You can say that it’s a limiting belief to not set goals that are triple or more their current income.

I say it’s limiting to compare yourself in a field where the expectations have become to make seven figures to have “success.”

I measure success by how aligned my lifestyle is with my values. Health, freedom, and autonomy are a few of my most treasured values. And quadrupling my income in one year is not in alignment with any of those.

Effective business coaching is client-led. This begins in the sales process.

It is not useful to the client to come from “let me tell you why you need to set more massive goals which I project on you through my ego and scarcity…and then you’ll need to hire me to tell you how to make those goals happen.”

Creating income is a form of freedom and is a valid goal. But to what end? Where are you trying to get to? Here is one of my favorite quotes on prosperity:

“Let go of trying to get more of what you don’t really need. It frees up oceans of energy to make a difference with what you already have. When you make a difference with what you have, it expands. What you appreciate appreciates. You can’t get to prosperity through the portal of more…only enough.” ~ Lynne Twist

The “portal of more” is not enough, never enough. Is $250k enough, is $500k enough? No number is enough when you are looking for external validation and identifying yourself through how much money you make. (Here’s a prosperity practice to feel more abundant.)

This programming is an infiltration from our super-sized consumerist culture.

And I’m shocked to see it in an industry that is known for empowerment and personal growth.

It wasn’t always this way.

Back in 2003, when I became a Martha Beck certified coach, coaching was about supporting people to clarify their values and live within those values, to move through limiting beliefs that were holding them back, and to take aligned action steps toward their authentic purpose.

This was so early in the coaching world, you still had to explain to people in California what life coaching was. It was still new and it was coaching in its purest form. It wasn’t mingled with consulting so much and there wasn’t an established industry culture of what it “should” look like to be a coach. You made it up for yourself.

If you hire a business coach to help you create what they want for you, instead of what you want, you are engaged in a special kind of self-sabotage.

If you decide not to sign up with a business coach you’re not aligned with, you are not “playing grossly small.” You would be playing small if you plugged in to someone else’s vision for you life instead of creating your own.

No where in my coaching training, or any sales training I’ve gone through was I taught to tell the client what they need and then tell them they need me to help them do it.

This is manipulation. In this scenario, the client becomes the coach’s minion. The client ends up trying to create a life or business they didn’t want in the first place because it’s coming from the external instead of the internal.

It doesn’t work. No matter how amazing that coach’s business system or program is, if the vision the client is working toward is not aligned for them on a heart and soul level, it won’t stick.

I’ve seen coaches who were amazing sales people sign on clients who are not aligned, and I’ve seen breech of contract, lawsuits, and drama.

When my clients set goals, I dig deeper to understand what it is about that goal that they want. What is underneath the goal? What value is underlying the desire? Why do they want what they say they want? Is it really their vision or are they “shoulding” on themselves? Are they committed to making it happen?

If the desire and vision doesn’t connect with the client at a deep level, at the heart and soul, it will not only be unsustainable, it won’t flow, and it may even drag them down. This is especially true for people who are already hard on themselves.

Moving to the next level of your life and your business, is about becoming that next version of yourself. It’s about sloughing off all the programming and bullshit stories that you cling to, but are not authentically you. It’s clarifying and focusing on your values and speaking and acting from them.

In order to grow, some people need more pushing. I am not one of those people. My clients are not those people. We push ourselves too much and need to gently integrate the parts of ourselves that create pressure. We are learning to listen to our gut and create more balance and sustainability in our lives.

Before you hire a coach consider these action steps:

-Review their web-site, read their bio, and read testimonials

-Ask colleagues why they have worked with to see if they can refer someone.

-Get to know their approach before you talk with them. Get on their email lists, watch their videos, attend a class, etc.

If you are considering hiring a business coach, ask yourself the following questions:

Why are you looking for a coach?

Where are you now and where do you want to go? Why?

Why is that important to you?

What do you want to get out of working with a business coach?

What would make the experience more than worth the resources you invest?

Once you meet them, do you feel a sense of trust in them? Is this someone you would look forward to connecting with on Zoom or phone often?

What kind of balance of challenge and support works best for you?

When you talked with the coach, did you appreciate their sales process, and did you feel heard?

Some coaches can support you to figure out what you need and if it’s a fit because they ask questions and listen. Be sure you’re clear on the kind of coach you are shopping for, so you become more of who you are in the process instead of giving your power (and money) away.

I’ve seen coaches coach people “into their greatness” but it doesn’t land because it’s a projection and it doesn’t come from the client. I’ve seen coaches who intuitively tell the client what’s best for them, even if the client doesn’t vibe with it. And I’ve seen clients believe what the coach said to them about who they are or what they should want and beat themselves up with it.

This is simply not effective. It’s an ego trip for the coach and any kind of impact is short-lived for the client – if not traumatic with long-lasting impact on self-esteem.

If a coach dictates unattainable goals for a client and the client fails to reach those goals, where does this lead the client?

Right into a puddle of “not enough.”

This is may even be where the client began. Self-worth is such a huge factor in creating and receiving the life you want.

Giving one’s power away to someone else is not the way to build up self-worth.  Instead, it is a vicious cycle that results in one more person having a bad experience with a coach who probably doesn’t even realize what they are doing.

Another reason business coaching gets a bad rap is that some coaches have a cookie-cutter system or a one-size-fits-all step-by-step success path. This model is more about who they are and what they want than what the client wants.

Are you kidding me? Business is not an algebra problem or a fool-proof recipe.

I’ve been in those programs and heard countless stories from those who’ve tried them. They are not effective for everyone because they do not take into account the client’s personality, strengths, weaknesses, etc. Yes, people can learn from them, but the percentage of people who get the results touted in the testimonials is small.

The most effective business coaches are listeners. They listen to clients, they ask questions that pull out the vision, desires, and values of their clients. They challenge and support them to become their best selves. The coaching-client relationship leaves the client feeling stronger, more confident, and more self-trusting. They are more capable and prepared for than they were before they started.

This is why I’m still a coach. The opportunity to connect with and support someone who wants to create more freedom and choice in their life and more value in the world is a priceless gift.

Those who want to evolve their life and/or their business deserve to have support from a business coach that honors and respects where they are at, THEIR vision, and their strengths. No matter what anyone else says.

5 Steps to Leaving the Big Banks for Good

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Racism in the financial industry and what you can do about it

Now that white people’s eyes are open, we see that racism is everywhere.

As a white person, I am imperfectly educating myself about truths and history that have been white-washed, engaging in uncomfortable conversations, and working to acknowledge, own and eradicate racism from within. And I am making choices that support the more just world I am committed to co-creating.

A friend recently brought it to my attention that if you do a search for “interest rates for black people,” you will find startling information that shows significant racism in the financial industry. While shocking on some level, I’m also not surprised, knowing the industry.

This is a multilayered topic with lots of history in which I’m not an expert, and this article is more about one clear thing we can do right now. There are many articles on the topic, including these two I found helpful: “Racial Predatory Loans Fueled U.S. Housing Crisis,” “Many minorities avoid seeking credit due to generations of discrimination.”

The evolution out of the dark ages of a country built on the backs of people of color, is no small task. While educating ourselves and others, protesting, engaging, voting, and donating are important aspects of this evolutionary marathon, the financial industry is one critical piece of the puzzle to dismantle injustice and support progress toward fair financial practices and equal opportunity for all.

Corruption is often revealed when we simply follow the money. After the big bank bail out of 2008, I heard a lot of talk about moving our money out of the big banks. Some of us did. Some of us still haven’t done it yet.

“It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning.” -Henry Ford

You may not want to hear this, but if you bank with one of the big banks, you are feeding the monsters (the level of the monstrosity would be another article).

When we make conscious choices with our money, we redirect the flow of energy and power. This is impact. If you do not want to stay silent, act. Move your money to a credit union or a bank that has fair practices.

When I moved to Asheville, NC seven years ago, I researched financial institution options, searching for something that was aligned with my values.

I joined Self-Help Credit Union, whose tagline is “Economic Opportunity for All.” This organization is affiliated with the Center for Responsible Lending and has been advocating for fair practices for decades. Here’s part of their mission statement: “While our work benefits communities of all kinds, our focus is on those who may be under served by conventional lenders, including people of color, women, rural residents and low-wealth families and communities.” They fight against predatory lending practices and are part of the reason North Carolina doesn’t have those horrible payday advance places. In 2019, 82% of their borrowers were low income, and 63% of borrowers were people of color.

I love banking there and supporting their mission and I no longer have lingering guilt and shame plaguing my relationship with money. Instead, I know my money is in one of the best places it could be, supporting the front line of fair practices in the financial industry.

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”
― Buckminster Fuller

Think about how much money goes through your account in a year or in 10 years. Now consider the impact of the domino effect if people redirected the flow of their money away from large banks through their banking choices. Reallocating money and power.

We talk about this often with our spending; not buying out of convenience and pricing, but instead from companies with integrity and quality. (I’m still stretching into this one imperfectly. This helps.) Those who hold the money, and the power to lend it to whoever they deem worthy on their own terms, are shaping our economy and our culture to a large degree.

If we all move our money, it could have huge impact.

I know it’s a pain. One friend who is one of the biggest advocates of anti-racism that I know recently confessed that she still uses one of the big banks and that she even tries to hide her card sometimes. The reason she hasn’t switched is because there are a lot of moving parts in the process.

If you feel stressed out by the logistics of the move, do it gradually. It took me a while to figure out how to make the transition work for me.

Here’s a step-by-step breakdown of one way to transition your money from the big banks to the champions of the financial industry.

5 Steps to Leaving a Big Bank for Good

1) Ask your friends where they bank and research alternatives to the big banks. Look for institutions that have fair practices (even act as advocates) and are established enough to have it together in all ways, including on-line banking (because if it’s not practical, it’s not sustainable.) Consider your needs, including geography if it’s relevant to you, and don’t let the slickness of the big banks (no fees) stop you. Although it was a stretch at first, I pay for my business account monthly knowing that it’s going to a good cause and I receive excellent service.

2) Open your account(s) at the new bank institution (with at least the minimum required to open the account(s).)

3) Make a list of all of your auto-pay and deposit transactions. You can do this by looking at a full 30–60 days of transactions. You may be able to do a search for specific types of transactions(e.g. ACH, Credits, Payroll, Dividend, etc.) There may be some that happen quarterly, semi-annual, or annually. Double check for these or leave some money in your account for a few months until you’ve had time to do a full investigation. This process also includes your accounts like Venmo, PayPal, and if you have a business, anything attached to your business like Square, Quickbooks, etc. Take a deep breath and start making a list. You don’t have to do it all at once.

4) Start moving your money and/or deposits over to the new institution as you gradually transition your automated transactions and connected accounts. If you use checks, order them for your new account(s).

5) When you have fully transitioned, move all of your money out of the big bank and close your big bank account(s). Watch your accounts more than usual for a while to make sure things are going smoothly.

Bonus: Once you fall in love with your new institution, when you have stepped into (even in this small way) unity for fair and just practices, tell your friends about it and encourage them to do the same.

Allow your relationship with money to take a deep breath. It just joined the protest.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” ― Margaret Mead

A Fresh Prosperity Practice and Stress Management Tool for Corona Times

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There’s so much going down in the world right now that I can’t keep up.

And, I’m here to offer what I can. Here is a prosperity practice to support stress management.

One of the biggest stressors right now is uncertainty. And with each day, uncertainty seems to be the most consistent thing…with misinformation, contrasting information, and a barrage of intense major developments that influence each of us on some level.

My experience has varied greatly from moment to moment with the days both dragging on and flying by. I’ve been alone most of the time and have had some very deep and dark moments of clearing and ultimately transformation.

Money, income, and business have been among the topics of conversation for many people. These plus health and safety issues hit some deep places in the human psyche, and bring up stuff for many of us. We are living through a significant cultural, spiritual, collective, and personal shift and even a rebirth.

For me, I hit a whole new level of being in touch with the voices in my mind….and ultimately connecting with my heart.

Frankly, the voices can be assholes and there was not enough of the usual distractions to keep me from hearing them.

One night during full “lockdown” I watched a bunch of tv. I was walking into my bedroom afterwards & I realized I felt crappy. When I inquired what about the feeling, I saw that I had been judging myself for watching so much tv. What the heck? Who cares how much tv I watch during a global pandemic?

I gave myself permission to watch tv. To do nothing. To stare out the window. To sit on the earth for as long as I want. To paint crappily. To thrash dance in my living room to obnoxious music to get my feelings out. To eat more potato chips than usual (even non-organic!) To not shower for three days. Yup. I admitted it. Three. Days.

Suddenly, I didn’t feel so stressed out. I was present with myself, giving myself space instead of having a heavy hand on my shoulder, a critical eye constantly judging me. I’m not used to slowing down. I’m used to being busy all of the time. And that pace had its consequences that my body is still recovering from. This period is an opportunity for me to reboot my nervous system, slow down, connect with myself, heal, and to come more from my heart than I ever have.

We all are having different experiences right now. I wonder how many of you are learning big lessons, deepening your connection with yourself, evaluating your values, and evolving your vision for your life.

Sometimes questions help us see what our desires are, what we value. On my “intake” form for new clients, I ask 5 pages of questions and one question, “What would you do if money wasn’t an issue?” is so interesting and revealing. Often times people say they would relax more, read more, do more self-care, and (of course the popular) travel more. Let’s take out the travel option since it’s not an option right now.

If you say you want more free time but you believe you have to wait until some future point when you’re rich to take a break, think again.

Wait for it……free time is FREE.

I get that if you work to make a living, if you take care of others, if you’re dealing with a global pandemic, you have many hours of stuff to do per day.

And you can still give it to yourself. For real.

How much of that “busy” time is spent doing busy work or spinning your wheels anyway? Or doing the things the pressure to “do more” is telling you to do? What’s more important than feeling free? (even in quarantine)

If you don’t stop, rest, play, and give yourself enough space to get into a variety of brain wave states to allow your intuition and some nourishment to come in, you will not feel prosperous….ever. In my early coaching years, I had an entrepreneurial client who was so rich he was trying to decide between buying a private jet and a professional sports team. He was one of the most unhappy people I’ve ever met. It’s never about the money.

You don’t have to wait.
You don’t have to arrive anywhere.
You can do this now.

This is stretching your receiving muscle and your prosperity muscle.

A lot of times, as entrepreneurs, we have so much pressure in our minds to work more and do more. We don’t actually have/take real free time completely because we’re always putting pressure on ourselves. The voice in the back of our minds is saying “You’re not doing enough” or “You should be doing something more important” or some other version of “not enough.”

When those voices are still present or a part of you is judging what you are doing (or not doing), or you think you are actually procrastinating, you are not able to enjoy and be present, to fully choose what you are doing. This takes away from the present moment and we never get a break, much less feel rested.

I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this. But that thing you’re chasing out there in the future by being super busy…..that’s not where prosperity lives. Trust me, a part of me chased it for a long time. And even when you get the carrot, it doesn’t live up to the expectation you had hoped for.

Prosperity is not in a dollar amount. Not getting somewhere you’re not. Not in doing the perfect thing perfectly all the time. It’s simply a practice of being. It’s only found in the present moment.

So, to practice, give yourself a pass for two hours of “Abundant Free Time.” Practice expanding and strengthening your prosperity muscle to RECEIVE by doing this prosperity practice. Do whatever the heck you want for that two hours and see how you feel. You can even schedule it weekly as a powerful prosperity practice and stress management tool.

For me, as soon as I step in to my “Abundant Free Time” I feel a sense of excitement, curiosity, and relief. I feel less anxiety, stress, and overwhelm.

I may do deep breathing, put on music, draw, paint, dance, stare out the window, sit in a random place on the floor just to see what I notice, pick up a book (or 3 and just peruse), reorganize an area, or tend my many plants. Lately during this kind of time, I commit to staying off of social media. I don’t do anything unless I want to (but I let myself write down anything that I want to remember to do later so I can mentally let it go.)

FULLY give yourself 2 hours of “Abundant Free Time” and see what happens. Receive from yourself as a prosperity practice and see how it feels.

LMK how it goes.