snarky looking octopus
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Are you a recovering perfectionist or recovering people pleaser? You deserve better than they allow.

Are you a recovering perfectionist or a recovering people-pleaser?

Are you ready to let go of perfectionism? What about people pleasing?
I know neither worked for me. And I tried really hard.

I found that they limited my capacity to take risks, finish projects, and get what I really wanted.

Do you believe that a new way of living is possible?

“Longing is knowing you’re meant to have a thing without believing you can have it.” ~Martha Beck

(Yes this quote is a repeat bc it’s that good.)

Do you believe you can have what you long for & that you deserve it?

Sometimes in sessions with clients, I say things I don’t see coming. A recent one is, “Choosing perfectionism and people-pleasing is like living with a big octopus on your face.”

Not only is it very distracting, but it gets in the way of seeing what you need, want, & can create in your life.

When you take this big octopus off your face and let go of the blocks of perfectionism and people-pleasing, you enter a whole new world.

snarky looking octopus as a metaphor for the experience for recovering perfectionist

You and only you can remove the octopus. But you have to believe it’s worth the effort.

Recently, in the same session where I blurted out the octopus statement, we spent time celebrating my client.
She has removed the octopus of people pleasing and perfectionism and has since created a new life.

A new level of flow is happening in ways that she couldn’t have imagined just a few months ago.

She is free.
She is creating.
She is thriving.
She is growing.
She is confident.
She’s a freaking badass.

All of that potential was always there, but the octopus was on her face.
The changes she made didn’t happen overnight.

She removed the octopus one hard-sucking tentacle at a time over and over. Eventually, it became tired and left her alone.

It took courage every day for months to keep trusting her path and believing in herself. She chose to honor her needs and desires in every decision she made…instead of giving in to the “pressure to conform to perceived external expectations.” (her words)

When you make decisions based on what you think others want, what you think you “should” do, waiting until it’s all “perfect,” you are giving in to an amorphous and never-ending pattern of giving your power away to everybody else but you.

It’s one of life’s biggest lies that if you get it “right,” you’ll be happy. That’s the curse of being a recovering perfectionist.

It’s also the safest path because you can always say that you did it “right” and it didn’t work out.

Are you ready to try a more vulnerable, less trodden, but more efficient and effective path?

If so, it’s time to finally see what is not yours, clear it out, and create space for more of you.
What comes to mind when you read that last sentence? You know what’s not yours and where to create space. It’s time.

When you do this, your energy and the desires of your heart and soul have room to breathe.

You can fully embody your own energy, approach life from your center, express yourself more fully, and ALLOW your life to flow in ways that are creative, nurturing, connecting, supportive, and fulfilling.

This is where the magic happens.

If you are doing what you think you “should” do and it’s not working, why the hell not try something different?

No one else can do it for you or save you.

In case you’re still a recovering people pleaser, you don’t even have to do it for you.

Do it for a person in your life who needs to be set free even more than you.
Model it for her.
Live it to give it.

You don’t have to do it all at once.
But take it one step further today…or at least tomorrow.

What do you want to say yes to? What do you need to say no to to create your life the way you deserve?

You deserve to have a life that is yours, a life you love, that you are proud to call your own.

Just like any recovery process, being a recovering perfectionist and/or recovering people pleaser is something to approach “one day at a time.”

Remove one tentacle today.
Tomorrow, another.

Then take a day off and notice the discomfort of losing sight of what you deserve.
The next day, use that feeling as fuel to remove an entire octopus arm from your face and see more of what is possible.

With a fresh and clearer perspective, more spaciousness, and more of yourself to move forward with, choose in every moment to honor your heart and soul. And free yourself little by little from perfectionism and people-pleasing.

You will not regret the effort, the time, or the courage that you grow from the journey. You will need it to keep going.

“Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency.”  -Maya Angelou

Are you a recovering perfectionist? A recovering people pleaser? You deserve better than they allow you.

If you’re ready for support on the journey of removing the octopus from your face, believing you can create your vision, and making it happen, let’s connect.

Warmly,

Jen

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